PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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