I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
