got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
