Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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