She announced her abortion via fbk
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
