It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im holly from the hills drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
