He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize