In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
