drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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