Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
