isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize