Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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