I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
