What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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