No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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