I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
