Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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