That's intense
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
