my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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