Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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