I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
