Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
