I heard we made out
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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