Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're a waste of cheezeits
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
