return my video game
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
