It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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