She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
