Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
