how can u be prego again
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
