Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize