Where did you get a picture of my penis
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
