Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish i was in the wii world.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
