help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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