I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
