I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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