Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He did a backflip because drugs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize