Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
