I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
kristin has been a bad kristin
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
