Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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