Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
