God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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