we have officially lost it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
