Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
