wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
