I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize