i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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