never play flip cup with pint glasses
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
