god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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