Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
