I skipped work to stalk him.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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