so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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