On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize