true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
