I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize