I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize