Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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