Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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