This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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