dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize