Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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