You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
