Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
