How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
