girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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