giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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