these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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