dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
