After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
