so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
