Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
