Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
