is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
