so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
These tits shall not be calmed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
