The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
