Kiss
Puke
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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