I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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