We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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