Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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