i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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