if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
