The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ugly people sure do ruin things
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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