he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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