he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize