there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
