he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
